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September 16, 2002:
... a day which will live in infamy ...
This will go up well after September 11, but I still feel that something should be said. No, thatís not really the reason for my writing this. Thereís something inside that makes me want to write about it; thereís something I guess I want to say.
The events of September 11, 2001 were atrocities and I sympathize with all the victims and their families. I, like almost all Americans will never forget that day. However, personally, I was really not affected in any way. For a while I didnít feel anything. My emotions kinda went AWOL. That seems to be how I usually deal with things. But, every once in a while, a part of me would actually feel sorrow or despair. When this happened though, another part of me would feel ashamed for feeling that way. I mean, I am one of the lucky people who didnít lose anyone close to me. Why should I feel this way? I have no right to feel this way! I didnít lose anything that day! Then, Iíd look around and see lots of other people who were in anguish over the events of that day and Iíd feel like I was cold and heartless for not showing emotions. I guess I have problems knowing exactly what to do in situations like that.
So, I resolved to just live. Thatís really all I could do. I would live because I could, and I would not squander that opportunity. All those stray emotions probably got subconsciously channeled into my creative works like Radical Dreamers. Itís strange, but events like that usually drive me to do more creative projects. I guess I see it as a tribute, but not necessarily to the events and victims of 9/11. To me, itís more of a tribute to life itself.
And to everyone that reads this, I implore you, live life! For the people you love, and for the people who canít anymore.
Thanks for putting up with the rantings of a crazy writer.
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Laura: September 16, 2002:
Well, at least my rant is the only thing that's late right? Now, how to follow up Joe's big serious rant? I'm not going to. Well, I am, but only briefly.
How I feel about the eleventh of September is something I will probably discuss with few human beings in my lifetime. I know how I feel about it, and it's not something I'm willing to relive through discussion with others. It only accomplishes me feeling badly and I had enough of it last year. I know how I feel, I understand what was lost, and I started moving forward the day after.
Actually I feel like I should start going to church more, but that was an issue before the eleventh. I started skipping in college, and now I feel like God's giving me the hairy eyeball all the time. Also, I hate it when people say how this stuff makes you realize what's important. This may be pretentious of me, but I've always known what's important in my life. I think about how my life has to be fufilling all the time, because I think about how brief life is all the time. Only now, I have to add terrorists to the long list of things that could possibly kill me which also includes tick bites, poisoned soda, marker fumes, second-hand smoke, New Jersey motorists, slipping in the bathtub, cholesterol, radiation from my cell phone, and sharks. Like the one from Jaws in that scene where it leaps onto the boat and eats Quint. You know the one I'm talking about.
Ok, now that that bit's over with (none too brief really, sorry about that) onto other fickle things. Like my new car which I got this week. I got wheels and it's a great feeling. Not the insurace though. I've been afflicted with "junior driver" status, which really means since most drivers under 25 apparently have sucky driving skills, the insurace company gets to jack up your insurance payments. Arg. And speaking of arg, Septmeber 19 (I think) is "Speak Like a Pirate Day", at least according to two guys somewhere out there. Though, not a recognized holiday, it's certainly an interesting concept, so let loose an "Avast ye scury dogs" in celebration of all things....piratey.
And finally, I feel, and you may or may not notice, that this week's page is not up to par. Sorry about that. Still trying to get on schedule but I bet you know the story by now, blah, blah, blah. Also, our ezBoard had a case of the nasty pop-up ads from hell. They were so ugly I lost my vision a couple times while visiting the boards. After some of my whining, Joe put down some money which gets rid of them for a couple months at least. I'd like to get a message board service that would be less pricey and not so horrificly ad-supported, so any suggestions are welcome. Well, that's about it for now. Later.
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