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|Joe - 3/22/05
|Laura - 10/14/04
I'm not going to make any excuses for our time off, because I really don't think there's anything to excuse.
It's been almost 3 years since we started EF, and things have definitely changed in that time. There are a lot of personal lessons that are learned from actually experiencing things, and creating EF is a very unique experience. In the past few months, I have given a lot of thought about what it is that I want out of EF now. What was surprising was that I don't think I ever really knew the answer to that question.
looking back at when this all began, I see a very different me. In some ways, I'm a little ashamed (actually, mortified might be a better word). I struggled with a lot of things that seem somewhat trivial and superficial when I look back at it, but I'm not sure those lessons would have been learned without going through the entire experience. Since then, I would like to think that I've grown as a creator (although I would not be surprised that when I look back at this moment sometime in the future, I'll see that I was extremely naive in thinking this way). My goals for EF have, if not totally changed, at least solidified some.
In the end, the real reward I get from EF is the actual work. To me, EF wouldn't be nearly as worthwhile if it didn't require a measure of effort. To paraphrase an American statesman, we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard. It's kinda hard to explain, and some people probably won't understand, but in the end, it's really all about the work. If the work isn't something I can look back on and have some amount of pride in, all the fans in the world wouldn't really mean anything. Now, I'm in no way belittling fans, but in the end, I would rather have a handful of dedicated fans for a work that was something that I put a lot of myself into than a million fans for a work that was half-assed.
The thing that really makes this point more important now than before is my limited time. My day job has been draining my time, energy, motivation and will (just to name a few items that it steals from me). It's a really sucky situation... I won't go into details, except to say that there is plenty of blame to go around and not enough accountability. Really, I keep working there for the money. That's it. So, with my current situation, I really can't afford to do half-assed work for the things that really matter to me.
Wow, sorry for being MIA these past couple weeks (past couple months if you include my rants). I'm feeling kind of worn out lately. Not like a physical exhaustion, because really I haven't been doing anything. I guess it's more like a major slump or a rut. But today, I'm writing the rant to end all rants....or more precisely, this will most likely be my last rant for the comic in it's current form. If you've read Joe's rant, you know that we're changing Eidolic Fringe. This was mainly prompted by me, because lately, I'm just not feeling it :( I hate to say it, but lately I sort of don't want to work on the comic. That's not to say I want to quit, because I have an emotional investment in the story and characters and as of now I'm determined to see it through to the end. But as things stand, I'm really dragging my feet these days. Working on the comic the way I do has become something of a burden. I kind of feel like I'm always beating myself up over it, and when I thought about how much longer I could last like this, the answer was "not much longer". So I decided on a change and that was the removal of the deadline, meaning basically that the comic will be updated whenever I feel like it. One the one hand, I feel badly because I worry that this jerks around the people who enjoy the comic, but I think that this is also best for the comic and myself. Since the end of the current issue could be considered an end to an arc if you will, I felt this was also a good point to take a good look at the comic and really think about how to evolve it and make it more of what I always wanted it to be. I want Eidolic Fringe to transform and grow up a little, and hopefully come the next issue, it will show. So I am sorry if this disapoints people, but I'm glad that comic is going from a weekly web site, to a project I'm doing for my own enjoyment again. And if other people continue to enjoy it along the way, that's just a plus. ^_^
|All content unless otherwise specified is Copyright © 2003 Joe Lee and Laura Galiffe of the Bonsai Mecha Factory. All rights reserved. If you violate our copyright or piss us off, we'll send Hinoki after you!